


The Past/The Present/The Future

by BlancaPowell



Series: Past/Present/Future [1]
Category: Perfect Match (Visual Novel), PlayChoices, The Freshman Series (Visual Novels)
Genre: Drama & Romance, Eventual Romance, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Friendship/Love, Jealousy, Light Angst, Love Confessions, Love Triangles, Reunions, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-02
Updated: 2019-05-02
Packaged: 2020-02-16 02:08:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18681967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlancaPowell/pseuds/BlancaPowell





	1. The Past

Amy woke up slowly and turned to her left side only to find an empty space. She looked up at the clock on a drawer next to her bed. It was 7:23 and she smiled to herself.  _He’s always been the biggest morning person I know_ , she thought. 

Sighing, Amy rolled out of bed and headed to the kitchen, where she could hear her boyfriend’s quiet singing whilst making coffee.

 _Three years_. It’s been three years since this whole Eros thing, three years since she, Nadia, Steve, Damien, Hayden, Sloane, and Alana managed to bring Eros down. For good. And suddenly they were all free. Nadia and Steve lived in their own house, next door neighbours to Hayden and Sloane and Alana decided to stay in Germany. The moment their plane safely landed in New York, Damien asked Amy on a real date, just as he promised. They’ve been together ever since, and last year they moved in together. It’s been good three years.

Amy smiled at the sight of her boyfriend trying to make breakfast. Damien is many things,  _great_  things, but a cook is not one of them. He’s just as adorably bad at cooking as she is at all these detective stuff. She came closer and hugged Damien from behind. 

“Whatcha doing?” she asked. 

“Breakfast,” he smiled and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead, “actually, I am  _trying_ to make a breakfast.” He turned back and look at her, “it was supposed to be fried-eggs.” 

“Well, it’s definitely scrambled eggs now.” she laughed, “Maybe you shouldn’t stirr the eggs and mix them, you know.” 

Damien put down the spatula and put his arms around her. “I just wanted to test it before tomorrow,” he grinned, “I’ve heard it’s someone’s 30th birthday.” 

Amy rolled her eyes, “Oh gosh, Damien. Don’t remind me. I’m so old.” 

“Oh no you’re not,” he chucked, “Being in you’re thirties is the best time ever.”

 “And you’re just saying that because you’re already thirty-four?” 

“Mmm, maybe.” Damien leaned and kissed her tenderly. After a moment she pulled away. “Damien?” 

“Mhmm?” 

She grinned, “Your eggs are burning.”

After this rather exeprimental breakfast, Amy went out to work kissing Damien goodbye. She has been working in this cool, psychology magazine as an advice collumnist, having lots of exeprience in hepling people from her college years. In the meantime, she was working on her new novel from home. It was based on her Eros adventures, and even though it happened for real, her publisher demanded to label this book as sci-fi.

It was a nice, warm, sunny day. Spring was her favorite season, so Amy decided to take a longer way and turned left, to the park that she always liked to meditate in. She spotted a figure getting out of the nearby cafe, a tall, very handsome man, with blond hair. She looked at him as if she spotted someone familiar.

“Chris? Christopher Powell? Is that you?” She quickly walked towards the blond figure smiling from ear to ear. 

“Amy? Amy Park? Seriously?” he laughed and drew her in a tight hug. Both of them stayed there for probably longer than necessary but there was something peculiar about this reunion. Something so strange yet familiar. And in that very second, it hit her. It was as if everything that she once lost came back to her. It was the familiar look in his blue eyes, the familiar feeling of his delicate touch, the familiar scent of his cologne, the familiar everything. It was like being home.

   _Why do I feel this? I’m with Damien, it’s been over 8 years since Chris and I broke up_ , she thought. And yet, the feeling so strong overwhelmed her completely. 

“Hey there,” he broke the silence, “wow, look at you, you look great! Haven’t aged and all. Still the same, beautiful as ever, Amy Park.” 

She blushed. “Still the same, charming and flattering as ever,” she answered. They stood there, awkwardly glancing at each other, both waiting for the other person to say something. To say anything. It’s been so long since they last spoke. 

Chris finally cleared his throat, “so, maybe you’ll have a moment? This cafe here,” he waved his hand in the direction of her favorite cafe, “has a really good coffee, and they serve your favorite. Thought maybe we could catch up…or talk, or just–” 

“Sure!” she exclaimed a little bit too enthusiastically, “I mean, I have a moment and I would love to catch up.”

* * *

As soon as Amy walked out Damien put on his jacket and headed out. Her birthday was the next day and he wanted to make this day as special as possible. He already booked her favorite place with Greek food and now he was going to get the best surprise. 

He arrived at the spot just in time, a nice, blond lady smiled at him and gestured at him to come in. “Hi, um,” he started, “I’m supossed to get my order?” 

“Name?” 

“Damien Nazario.” 

“Oh, I see, sir, the sapphire with white gold?” 

“Yes, yes, exactly.” The lady disappearded under the counter and pulled a beautiful, maroon box. She opened it for him to see and he nodded. “Yes, that’s what I meant.” She quickly wrapped the package and he shoved it to his pocket.  _If everything goes right_ , he thought,  _I’ll be the happiest man alive_. 

Damien thought about those years he spent with Amy, since they met up till now. There’s never been any moment he felt bad around her. He knew she was the one and he hoped she felt the same. He smiled at himself while crossing the street. 

He found himself standing right in front of the Amy’s magazine office.  _Maybe I can surprise her_ , he thought. He entered the building and looked around. “Damien, hi!” Amy’s friends already knew him. He was a very frequent guest and it was definitely hard not to notice him. 

“Hi Reyna, is Amy somewhere here?,” he asked. 

“No, not really. She hasn’t arrieved yet, something about meeting Chris I believe? She said she’d be late,” Reyna said. 

“Chris?” Damien frowned. “Who is Chris?” he asked. “Umm, it’s her, well, er, friend, and, um, an ex-boyfriend I guess.”

Damien’s eyes widened as Reyna quickly excused herself. He wasn’t always a jealous type but when it came to Amy Park, he never liked when there were men around her. Maybe he still didn’t believe in his luck that his best friend on whom he crushed for too long is finally his girlfriend, and maybe fiancee soon. But a meeting with an ex-boyfriend? What the hell? 

Damien walked out and headed back to the house taking the longer route, through the park. He had so many questions, who was Chris, where did they meet, why did they break up, who broke up with who, why is Chris here. He would probably overthink himself to death if he hadn’t spotted his beloved with a mysterious blond man in a cafe, cheerfully chatting and laughing.  _ **Chris**._

* * *

Chris bursted into laughter, “No way! You’re dating an investigator? After that whole Junior year bullshit? That you almost got killed?” 

“True calling I guess,”  she shrugged and they both giggled. 

“So you and your  _Damien_ ,” he accented his name, “were investingating some case and it brought you together?” 

“Well, yes, you can say that. We definitely have been through a lot,” she said.

 “Like what?” he asked. 

“Maybe you’ll be able to read all about them in my new novel,” she smiled.

 “You’re writing another one? It’s been so long since  _The Freshman_ , I’ve been kinda following your career but you never published anything else… So what’s it called, the novel?” 

“ _Indescribable,_ ” she took a sip of her coffee. 

“Sounds intriguing. I’ll definitely check that out,” he looked warmly at her.

“Hey, enough about me, your turn, you still live in Maine?” she asked. 

“Yes, I’ve been a local football team coach–” he started talking about his career, about football and kids playing it so passionately she couldn’t help but think what an amazing person Chris really is. How involved he is. And how much she once loved him. 

“–but yeah, we eventually won and the kids were able to go to Boston to play against one of their clubs,” he finished the sentence. 

“Kids? Um.. I know it’s not really my business but.. do you have someone? Back there, in Maine?” she asked cautiously. Amy didn’t know why she asked and definitely wasn’t sure she wanted to know the answer. It’s been long and she never thought she would care but somehow she did care. She knew how much he always wanted to have a family. How early he wanted to start it. He turned thirty in January, in that age he probably had already a wife and at least 2 kids. 

She started feeling a pinch of jealousy when he spoke, “No, I don’t actually.” She was surprised. Her heart started beating a little bit faster, “No one? I thought..I thought you wanted…you, you know, a family?” 

Chris smiled at her. “I did, I  _do_ ,” he shrugged, “I just haven’t found anyone interesting.” Amy could swear she saw some kind of sadness in his eyes. She knew the reason.  _She_  was the reason. She knew Chris wanted to have a family more than anything and she knew he wanted to have it with her. That break-up that broke both of them for so long was a still fresh memory. And still hurt. She moved on, he couldn’t. And she felt bad about it. 

The worst part was, she really wanted that. The family. Chris. Everything. But she didn’t feel good about Chris constanly going to different states because of the games. She wanted to settle but Chris was never home for more than a week. Their senior year was hard and eventually, at their graduation day they decided to break up. Neither of them celebrated that day. Both of them cried that night. And none of them talked to the other since then. Until today. All these memories came back and hit her harder that she would except. Looking at him smiling she felt peace. She loved Damien with all her heart but this was different. It wasn’t just love. But she couldn’t capture what it was. It was nostalgic, she felt like after being homesick for over eight years she finally came back. Chris gave her a sad smile and changed the topic. The two started eagerly talk about Zack’s new occupation, Kaitlyn’s new music, Tyler and Abbie’s wedding and Zig’s PhD studies.

* * *

Damien was furious. Not at her. Not at him. At himself. 

Having been hurt, cheated on and dumped he didn’t feel very secure even in a relationship with his best friend. He tried to fight his urge to walk into that cafe and interrput their convesation. Conversation she clearly enjoyed a lot. He clenched his fist and before he could cool down he did something worse. 

He didn’t have to search for a long time. The first result for “Hartfeld Chris” revealed Chris’s face next to the title “The greatest football discovery at Harfeld.”

Christopher Powell. Over 200 articles about him. All of them praising his sports achievments. On some of these photos he posed with Amy, sometimes accompanied by their friends. Zack he knew, Kaitlyn he met a couple of times and Tyler and Abbie were often present in Amy’s stories from her university times. Somehow, she never mentioned Chris. 

Damien grew more and more suspicious. With a phone in his hand he enetered the house and turned on his laptop. “ _Amy doesn’t have to know_ ” he said to himself. He keyed in a password and all the database showed up. “ _Okay captain Powell_ ,” he thought, “ _let’s find some dirt on you_.”

* * *

Still smiling, Amy walked into the apartment she shared with Damien. Slowly, she took off her jacket and marched into the living room where her boyfriend was standing and reading some printouts. 

“Hey there stranger,” she said. Damien murmured something, his eyes never leaving the paper. Amy came closer and tried to take a quick peek at what he was reading. When he saw her coming he instantly put the documents in the folder on the desk and smiled at her. 

“How was your day? I’ve heard you skipped your work today” he tried not to sound too accusingly but his mind was going crazy. 

“Oh, I’ve met an old friend from college and we just decided to catch up. I told Reyna I wasn’t coming so I’m good.” 

“And?” he asked. 

“And what?” she raised an eyebrow at him. “Damien, please quit this interrogation. I am really tired and I’ll tell you everything later” she added. 

“Oh, hell no. I’m not finished. Why haven’t you ever mentioned Chris? Why don’t you want to tell me you’ve met with your ex? Is there something you’re trying to hide? Cause if yes, I’ll make sure to–” 

“Damien for the love of God! Do you trust me at all? And how on Earth did you know that Chris is my ex?” she exclaimed, clearly annoyed. Damien remained silent, only because he tried not to burst into anger. 

“Damien… please don’t tell me you’ve done some research on Chris. Please don’t tell me you don’t trust me so much that you had to check Chris. Please, tell me I’m wrong. Please.” she pleaded. 

Damien looked up to meet her eyes and she knew.  _How could he_.  _He promised, he swore never be this kind of boyfriend. How dare he_. 

She put her bag on the floor and started walking towards her little writing room. She was entering the room when she heard Damien following her saying, “Amy, this guy is dangerous. He had some issues–” 

“Oh my gosh, Damien! Just quit it!” she hissed. 

“How would you feel if I told you he had criminal record? Because your perfect, golden boy has some criminal record from high school! And not only that. He was involved in blackmailing one of the candidates running for president during his freshman year, some Sebastian Delacroix, and besides–” 

“ENOUGH! Enough! STOP IT!” she yelled. “What the hell is going on with you? Why are acting so strange? How dare you invade my friend’s privacy? You remember what you promised me? Or have you completely forgotten?” She took a step towards him, hands on her hips. “I know about his record, he told me everything. Did your computer told you it wasn’t his fault? Oh, and you know what? I BLACKMAILED SEBASTIAN! That jackass deserved it but Chris took the blame on himself. Is there anything else I already know?” Damien was shocked from her outburst, she’s always been hot-tempered, but she never yelled at him that much. 

He was just about to say something when the door bell rang. Amy looked blackly at her boyfriend and went to open the door, Damien following her. She opened the door and Damien saw, for the first time in real life, the legendary Christopher Powell. He stood there, with a bottle of cheap wine and Amy’s favorite coral roses, smiling as if that was a photoshoot for Vogue. 

“ _Stupid Chris”_  he thought. 

“Chris!! What are you doing here? Come in” Amy said letting him inside. 

“So I just remembered it’s your birthday tomorrow and I didn’t want to not give you anything so” he motioned the flowers and wine “I brought our favorite wine and the flowers you’ve always liked.” He smiled at her and she put her arms around him. 

“Oh Chris, that’s so thoughtful! Thank you. You didn’t have to” she laughed. Chris grinned and looked at Damien who was observing this whole situation. 

“So, this is your investigator boyfriend? Nice to meet you, I’m Chris” he held a hand and Damien shook it. 

“Yeah, nice to meet ya too.” 

Amy put the flowers into the vase and didn’t see the awkwardness between the two men. 

At this moment Damien was more angry that ever.  _How could he just come here and be so annoying. What is he even doing here? How did he know she lives here._ Damien clenched the material on his pocket where the box with a beautiful diamond ring was hidden. He wasn’t sure of the answer anymore. And he blamed this blond guy right here for that. 

Chris on the other hand was lost in thought. He was looking around her,  _their_ , apartment noticing all the details. He saw many books on the shelves. He went closer and started reading the titles. He smiled when he saw the copy of  _The Freshman_  that she made everyone sign. Then, something else caught his eye. There, between books, on the necklace holder he spotted a familiar silver ring with a ruby and letters “H U” on it. His championship ring that he gave her at the end of their freshman year. 

 _She kept it? She kept it here for so many years? Dare he dream it was because she still loved him? Does he really have any chance?_ He looked at Amy pouring the wine, then at Damien who was looking at her..  _He would never want to destroy any happiness. But if she still wanted him, if she had him, he would be the happiest man. Because she’s home. And he’s been really homesick for a while now._

He looked up at her again. She noticed and smiled warmly at him ignoring Damien’s irritated look.  _Maybe there is a chance. Maybe not everything is lost. And this time I will do everything I can to get my best girl back. And to make her never leave me again._


	2. The Present

After an hour of awkward conversations about Hartfeld and Eros, Chris left Amy and Damien’s apartment. Damien was silent for the most of the evening, his eyes shifting from Amy to Chris.  _Could there be something more?_  This uncertainty drove him mad.  _Why wouldn’t Amy just talk to me?_  He looked at her while she was taking the glasses from the table and putting them in the sink.

“Let me do that,” he said, “for acting like a total asshole today.” She glanced at him and wordlessly nodded.  _Okay, silent treatment, I deserved it._ She quickly put her hair up in a messy bun and headed to the bathroom. 

He heard her doing her night routine, taking off her make up, washing her hair and showering. He sat in the armchair and took his laptop. When he turned it on, it immediately showed him more articles on Chris. He was tempted to look at them but hesitated. 

When he heard Amy finishing her routine, he turned off the laptop and took a book.  _The Freshman_. The first book co-written by Amy. She did such an amazing job. 

He started rereading it when a realization hit him. It was Amy’s book. About her as a central character. He always thought it was fiction but now he realized it wasn’t that far from reality. Amy’s name in the book was Annie. And Annie was dating a quarterback named Chad.  _Oh gosh. I am holding a freaking synopsis of Amy and Chris’s relationship._

Before he could put the book back Amy walked out from the bathroom in nothing but a towel. She started walking upstairs to the bedroom when Damien asked, “Don’t you wanna talk?” She turned back. “No.” 

“Amy…” he pleaded. 

“I don’t think there is anything I want to discuss with you right now. I am tired and don’t want to ruin my tomorrow’s birthday because of your stupid jealousy.” And with that she entered the bedroom and slammed the door.  _At least she didn’t ask me to sleep on the couch._ He quickly showered and went upstairs as well. Just before entering their bedroom he hesitated. He for sure didn’t want to ruin her birthday. He waited a few minutes and silently opened the door.

The room was dark, the only source of light was the moon and the stars on the sky. She could never fall asleep if it was too light. Damien tiptoed to his side of the bed and lay down. He turned to her only to meet her back. He really wanted to cuddle with her, spoon her and fall asleep with her in his arms as per usual but he knew she wouldn’t like it. He didn’t want to upset her more. 

Damien signed and leaned forward placing a quick kiss on her shoulder. Then he turned back on his side and closed his eyes.  _What if just ruined everything? Why was I so stupid? She’s not Alana, she wouldn’t cheat. Damien, pull it together! You’re not 17, you’re 34. But what if she hates me? And will never forgive me?_ He tried to calm his mind but it was a wild place. 

He sighned once again when a small, warm hand slipped on his hip. “I don’t hate you,” Amy sleepily murmured, “but you did upset me.” He turned back. “I am so sorry. I really am. I acted like a jealous teenager and I’m sorry. I love you.” He waited for her to say something but noticed she was already asleep. He sighned again and drifted to sleep too.

* * *

_It was a nice, sunny morning. Amy opened her eyes and looked at the empty space next to her. She signed. Her boyfriend has been gone for over a week now. And today was her birthday and he was still in California training for his championship. At least he promised her a Skype date. Slowly, she got up and put on her robe. Step by step, she reached the kitchen and almost screamed when she realized what she was looking at. In the middle of the living room area stood her boyfriend with a big cake in his hands and even bigger smile on his face. She threw herself on him, tears in her eyes. “Oh my gosh, Chris what are you doing here? Weren’t you supposed to be still in LA?”_

_“I was,” he laughed into her hair, “but I couldn’t miss my favorite girl’s birthday.” He pulled away and looked her in the eyes. “I love you Amy. Making you happy will always be my greatest priority.” He thought for a while and added, “Even if that pisses off my coach.”_

_She laughed and pulled him closer. When did she got so lucky? She was so happy. He was perfect. That day was perfect. A private celebration with just Chris in the morning and a party with their best friends in the evening. She thought she had everything she wanted. No one would ever suppose thnings would change so quickly within the next two months._

* * *

“Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to youuu, happy birthday my beautiful sleepyhead, happy birthday to youuuu,” Amy tried to hide a smile when Damien bursted into the bedroom with a huge chocolate cake. He leaned down and kissed her forehead. “I love you,” he added. 

She sat down on the bed and smiled at him. Even though she might have been still upset with him, she appreciated his effort to make it up to her. “Make a wish and blow the candles,” he said moving the cake closer to her face. She was just about to think of a wish when the vision of Chris holding a cake on her 21st birthday appeared in her head. 

_“I don’t need to make a wish, I already have everything I want,” that she said and blew the candles._

Amy closed her eyes.  _What do I wish for? A happy future with Damien? A reason explaining why Chris came back to my life? A sign? You know what, screw it. I wish to be happy._ She blew off the candles. 

“Hope it was a good wish,” Damien smiled, “took you long enough.” 

She returned the smile, “Yes, it was. Can I have the cake now?” He sliced the cake and gave her a big piece. They ate silently, the pinch of awkwardness in the air. “I hope you don’t have any plans for this evening,” he broke the silence and looked at her, “Cause I want to take you somewhere.” 

Amy looked up at him “Um, sure, that’ll be great.” 

“Amy…I am really sorry for yesterday. I know how stupid it was. Please, I don’t want you to be upset with me.” 

“Just promise me you’ll never do that again and we’re good.” 

“I promise, I swear. Never again. I love you.” 

She smiled, “I love you too. And I’m still waiting for these fried-eggs you promised.”

* * *

Birthday or not, Amy still had to work. After she left, Damien was just about to do the same, when Amy’s book caught his attention. He took if from the table and put in his bag. He might be done with the research but he needs to know more about Chris.

* * *

“Hello?” Amy answered the call. “HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE BESTEST BEST FRIEND ON THIS PLANET AND BEYOND!!!” 

She laughed, “Hahaha thank you Zack! As always you’re first.” 

“I thank the timezones that the others are still asleep. So, any plans for today?” Zack asked. 

“Yes, well, Damien takes me somewhere tonight.” 

“Oooh, fancy! Do you think he’s gonna propose?” 

“Zack, oh my gosh, no! I don’t think so..I hope..” 

“Amy? What’s going on? Did you two fight?” 

“No! Yes, a little, well I, I met up with Chris yesterday and he kinda spied on him.” 

“HOLD ON, CHRIS? CHRIS POWELL?  _OUR_ CHRIS POWELL? YOUR EX WITH WHOM YOU DIDN’T TALK FOR AGES?” 

“Yes, that’s the one,” she laughed weakly. 

“OMG AMY! And you don’t want Damien to propose to you because of the research or because of Chris?” He asked cautiously. 

“I-I don’t know. That’s the problem Zack. I always overthink. And now I just don’t know. I always thought I would end up with Chris and I was happy with it. Then we broke up and I couldn’t move on to such extend that my cousin made me use a help of a matchmaking company. And then I ended up with Damien and I was happy. I  _am_ happy,” she corrected herself, “but then I saw Chris. And everything came back. And I mean everything. It was af if I never told him that we should break up. And I just don’t know. Was it coincidence or–” she trailed off. 

“Or fate? Something that would bring you guys together again?” Zack asked.

“Well, yes. Is it stupid? I already feel like a total ass for even thinking about it while Damien is such an amazing person. Oh Zack! What do I do?” 

“I don’t know Amy. It’s your life. I can’t pick a guy for you, it’s not a game. All I can say is that Damien seems like a nice guy. And that you and Chris loved each other so much. And also that I love you and I know you’ll make the best decision and also happy birthday and also I gotta go! Tell me what you’ll decide!” and Zack hung up.  _Well that went well._ Amy was more confused than before.

* * *

In his hotel room, Chris started packing. He was leaving that night. His phone with a half-typed message laid on the drawer. He still didn’t know what to tell Amy. He typed and then deleted already over a dozen messages. He wanted her to be happy and she clearly was happy with that Damien guy. He was jealous because the moment he saw her again his feelings awakened. He realized that his love for her never died, just went to sleep and awoke when she smiled at him. 

Chris was conflicted. He would never ever want to ruin her relationship but he also wanted to tell her how he really felt. The ring that he saw the night before gave him hope that maybe she still feels something for him. And he wanted to check if that was true more than anything.  _Oh if only it all was easier._ He sat down and remembered the day of their graduation. They’d been arguing for a while, mostly because she was mad at him for being away so often. He tried his best to balance football and his boyfriend duties but it was getting harder and harder. Never would he realize, however, how hard it was for Amy. 

He had a whole day planned; they had the ceremony, then their friends decided to throw a party and then, at the middle of it he wanted to ask her to sneak out with him. He would’ve brought her to their freshman dorm’s rooftop and she would’ve been thrilled. Then he would’ve told her how much he loved her and asked her to spend the rest of their lives together, giving her a ring he bought weeks ago. In reality, they didn’t even got to the party section. With tears in her eyes she explained how hard it was for her to be in a one-sided relationship and that she feared the college was the only common thing they had. Chris was too shocked to say anything. So he didn’t and now he regretted that. And Amy never knew about his plans and feelings. Chris wondered if the meeting was his chance to fix that mistake. He really wanted to try.  _Not this time_ , he thought slamming his suitcase.  _I was a coward once and that was the greatest mistake of my life. I’m not a coward anymore._ Chris looked at himself in the mirror, took his phone and walked out. He was going to tell her everything. What she will do with the information is up to her. But at least he tried.

* * *

This day was rather boring. She had her friends wishing and singing her happy birthday but other than that the day was pretty ordinary. _Adult life is so boring,_ she thought. If that was college she would probably have milion exciting plans. But now? Dinner with Damien, which sounded super formal. Besides she was freaked out at the thought of proposal. She wasn’t ready. She thought she was but she clearly wasn’t. Reyna must have noticed something because she offered Amy an early leave. Amy gratefully accepted and decided to go home to clear her mind. Damien was out so she had a house all for herself. She took piece of her cake and headed to the living room to watch some Netflix. She decided to catch up on  _Outlander_  but after 10 minutes of watching she was tired. The main character had to choose between two men she loved. It definitely didn’t help her relax. She turned off the TV and went to the kitchen when she saw Damien’s bag on the floor.  _He must have forgotten to put it back._ She took the bag and carried it to the closet. Just as she was putting it on its right place a few items fell. She almost had a panic attack when among tissues, notebook, pens and mint bubblegum she found a maroon box with she-knew-exactly-what inside.

* * *

“ _I-I ended things with Becca” Chad said his voice shaking. Annie was shocked. Why would he do that? Why would he say that? What could it mean? “You did?!” “I made a mistake Annie. I thought I was protecting you by staying away. But I only ended hurting us both. I’m just hoping it’s not too late to make things right. So, I’m here asking if you’ll take me back. For good this time.”_

Damien closed the book and took a deep breath. How could he never realize the book was a true representation of Amy’s life? Why did it take him so long to figure out that the book is not a total fiction? He felt like an idiot. Great detective indeed. The more he read the more he feared. Amy depicted every her emotion so he had a clear vision of what she felt towards Chris. And he didn’t like it. Even though it happened long time ago from what he could read she really did love Chris and the two shared a very strong connection. What could possibly go wrong? He read about their first fight when “Chad” was busy with presidency and “Annie” was tired of feeling alone and useless. Damien was even mad at Chris for treating her like that. It was hard to look at someone he loved so much loving someone else. It took a month for “Annie” and “Chad” to say “I love you,” while Damien had to wait whole 8 months to hear that. Does it mean anything? Or is he just overanalyzing? The uncertainty was driving him crazy.

* * *

Amy didn’t know what to do with herself. It was the weirdest birthday she ever had. Damien lied when said being in her thirties would be the best. It was the worst. For the first time in her life she didn’t know what she wanted. If Chris hadn’t turned up so suddenly and confused her maybe she would be more certain. But, if Chris appearance made her puzzled, does it mean she still feels something for him? She wanted to ask someone for advice, anything but realized she had no one. Her college friends would vote for Chris, she was sure of that. On the other hand, Nadia, Hayden, Sloane and Steve would be team Damien. And then she felt even worse. Chris never said anything. What if he doesn’t feel anything for her anymore? Has he given any sign that he cares? Amy felt so dumb. She was having a whole Greek tragedy in her head while Chris never actually gave her a hint that he might still be in love with her.  _I’m so stupid. He doesn’t have feelings for me anymore. He’s moved on. He treats me like a friend. We both matured, we’re not kids anymore. Why do I feel so bad about it?_ Amy sat down on her favorite armchair and took a few deep breaths.  _I love Damien. Chris belongs to my past. What I feel for him is normal, we shared a past but now the time is present, and present belongs to Damien. And so does future, right? I’m gonna say yes to Damien and I’m gonna be happy with him. Because Chris and I are friends and nothing more. He isn’t in love with me anymore. And I’m not in love with him. Am I?_ Amy opened her eyes. Her heart was beating so fast when she realized that.  _No…_ She still loved him. And actually, she never stopped.

* * *

Chris was pacing back and forth in front of her apartment.  _What if he’s there too? What do I say? Everything sounds so stupid. But I have to tell her. This might be the last chance. But what if I ruin their relationship? And it’ll make her sad? But if I don’t say anything it’ll only make me sad. Oh boy, being an adult sucks._ Finally, he rang the bell. It’s now or never.

* * *

Damien fishined rereading the book and lost himself in his thoughts. Their relationship seemed stable and the story didn’t give him any clue of the reason of the break-up. Maybe it was Chris’s poor time management skills? That was the only flaw he could find in the book. He looked at his watch. It was already getting late and he had big plans for the dinner with Amy. Even though he wasn’t sure of her answer he wanted to ask her anyway. He was sure she was the one. And hopefully, she considered him the one too.

* * *

“Chris? Hi! What are you doing here?” Amy asked seeing her ex-boyfriend looking very nervous. 

“I came here because there is something I wanted to um, tell you.” She stared at him not sure what was happening. “Amy? May I come in?” he asked. 

“Oh! Yes, sure, sorry!” She moved and Chris walked into the apartment. “Do you want something to drink? Eat? I have some wine left from yesterday.” she offered. 

“No thanks, it will not take long.” He took a deep breath. “Look there is something I should have said way sooner but because I didn’t I need to say it now.” 

Amy felt pain in her chest. “What, what are you talking about?” 

Chris looked at her and went quiet. He didn’t know how to say it. He was simply scared of her reaction. In the same time Amy was afraid of what he wanted to tell her. 

“Chris, what’s going on?” She asked quietly. “Whatever it is you can tell me.  _We’re friends._ ” 

Friends. 

That’s what they were. She clearly didn’t want to be more than that. He didn’t have to say anything. She already gave him the answer. He looked up at her, tears started forming in his eyes. “I-I just wanted to wish you a happy birthday. I’m leaving today and going back to Maine. I really hope you’ll have an amazing day. Good luck with,” his voice slightly broke, “everything.” And with that he left, leaving Amy stunned. 


	3. The Future

Chris furiously packed his suitcase and cursed himself for being the cowardliest coward in the world of cowardice. Basically, he wasn’t happy with the conversation he didn’t have. But the word “friends” meant for him the end, they were after all just friends and she was happy with her investigator. He will not meddle in her life. If she’s happy he will be too. That’s all that matters. He closed the suitcase and left his hotel room. After giving back his key and calling a cab, he took his phone and unlocked it. There was one unread message. From Amy.

“Chris, is everything ok?”

Of course it wasn’t. Nothing was ok. He just lost the love of his life  _again._ He quickly typed “Yes, don’t worry about me:)” and sent the message. What an idiot he was. He kicked a nearby bench but he immediately regretted that as pain overwhelmed his body. “Shit” he hissed as people around him looked at him with concern. “I’m fine!” he said and walked away to look for his cab. He had only 3 hours left in New York until his flight to Maine but he intended to spend them at the airport.

* * *

Damien entered the apartment and found his girlfriend already dressed and looking at her phone. “Is everything alright?” he asked, “You look worried.” She turned back at him, noticing him for the first time, “Oh hi! I don’t know really, there’s something wrong with Chris I think but he says he’s fine.” “Oh? Did he say something?” Damien asked. “No, actually no. He came here but didn’t say anything. I just found it weird.” She replied. Damien poured some water into his glass and drank it.  _It’s very weird,_ he thought.  _Why would he come here again? Did he have some business for my girlfriend?_  Amy came closer to Damien. “Are we still going to that dinner thing? I’m starving,” she smiled. He smiled back, “Of course. Let me just grab my stuff.” After a moment Damien came out from their bedroom with a new jacket on and his bag. “Shall we?” he asked. Amy nodded and he took her hand. Together, they reached her favorite place. Damien looked stealthily at her to see her reaction but she clearly had something else going on in her mind as her face didn’t express any emotion. Damien tried to hide his disappointment but hoped that the other part would go better.

* * *

The plane finally took off after the longest three hours Chris ever had to wait. He tried to shift his thoughts towards something else but they stubbornly kept coming back to Amy. He promised not to be a coward, to own up to his feelings. And what? He didn’t. And now he was running away.  _Again._ Was he scared of the answer she could have for him? Was he scared of being rejected? Or maybe he was scared to change anything between them, especially now, when he finally had her back in his life. Chris put on his headphones and turned up the volume of his music.  _It’s gonna be a looong flight._

* * *

“Amy?” Damien looked up at his girlfriend barely touching the food she was given. She glanced at him. “I’m sorry” she shortly said. “I don’t feel well. I actually feel terrible. I’m really sorry,” she added. Damien smiled encouragingly, “Hey, don’t be. Do you wanna tell me what’s been bothering you?” Amy looked at her boyfriend. 

She loved him. There was no question about it. She also knew he loved her too. And he was ready for another step with her whereas she thought she wasn’t. She felt tired with her mind, constantly thinking “what if.” She didn’t want to pretend everything was fine when it clearly wasn’t. She was confused and had some feelings for both, Damien  _and_ Chris. And no matter what Damien deserved to know. She wanted to be fair and honest with him even if that’d break her. 

Cautiously, she asked, “Damien, do you see your future with me?” He was shocked at first. His mind went crazy, he thought something was coming and he wasn’t sure he was ready. “Yes, of course I do” he answered honestly, “Do you?” Amy closed her eyes. She had to tell him. It was hard but it’s the right thing to do. “Not sure” she whispered, eyes still shut down. After a moment she slowly opened them and saw Damien, stunned, not knowing what to say. “Is this because I did that stupid research?” he asked. “No! No. It’s just, I-I’m confused.” she said, “I love you Damien. So much. But you deserve to know, my feelings towards Chris they, they kinda came back. And even though he doesn’t feel the same, it’s just unfair to you if I acted as if nothing happened.” 

Damien was silent, not sure how to respond. Deep, deep down he felt she might have still be in love with Chris but hearing that in reality was much worse. He touched his sleeve where a pretty sapphire engagement ring waited for the perfect moment. Which probably would never happen. “I’m really sorry Damien. I couldn’t just pretend I’m fine and be with you while thinking about him. I’m not like that.” Still no word from him. “Hey, look at me,” she reached her hand for him but he pulled it away. Tears formed in her eyes.  _She’s lost him._ “Damien… I love you. I just wanted to be honest. This…feeling may go away, or it may not. I just need time to figure it out. I don’t want you to spend the rest your your amazing life with a wrong person.” “So you’re a wrong person?” he finally asked. “I don’t know Damien. That’s what I need to figure out. But I don’t want give you only 50% of me, you deserve 100%.” He nodded sadly, “I understand.”

* * *

After the dinner Damien insisted on sleeping at his friend’s house but Amy explained that she wasn’t breaking up with him, only taking some time and that their apartment is big enough to fit both of them. Because she felt awful she decided to take the coach giving Damien their bed for himself. “You know, as a gentleman I problably should decline and take the coach but as me, I think I pretty much deserved the bed,” he laughed. She was relieved he didn’t hate her. She still had an important decision to make but at least she was honest about it. With relatively clear mind she went to sleep.

* * *

Damien lied on the bed unable to sleep. One of his nightmares turned into reality.  _At least she told me. Not like Alana._ He sighed. He loved Amy and he wanted her to be happy. It hurt him it wasn’t him who could give her that happiness. He was nervous. He didn’t want to lose her but acknowledged the fact that her love to Chris must have been very strong. And that the love may actually win.  _If she’s so confused that can only mean she never stopped loving him. And if he does love her back she would be happy._ He sat down in the bed. He looked at his laptop.  _Dare he do this? Is this the right thing? He just wants her to be happy. And he realized no matter with who it would be._ A single tear rolled down his cheek when the realization hit him. He was ready to confront Chris just to make her happy.  _And even as my best friend I want her in my life._ He quickly typed some words into his computer and after few minutes had all the crucial information. He was going to talk to coach Christopher Powell. He just can’t see her so broken. Damien turned off the laptop and put his earphones in. He chose a random playlist made by Amy and started falling asleep. The song played and he recognized the words:

“I had all and then most of you  
     Some and now none of you  
       Take me back to the night we met”

He quickly changed the playlist into something more rock. He didn’t really want to cry into his beer by listening to some sad songs.

* * *

He woke up at five o’clock. Although the flight to Maine takes only hour and a half, or five hours of he wanted to drive, he wanted to be there as soon as possible. It’s not healthy, neither for him, nor for her to be kept in uncertainty. Quickly he wrote a note for her that he’d be out of town for a while. As quietly as he could possibly be, he left the apartment and drove to the airport.

* * *

Chris had a hard time. One, he met his love again. Two, she said she had a boyfriend. Three, he realized he still loved her. Four, he decided to tell her all about it. And five, he chickened out  _again_  and flew home without telling her anything.  _Congratulations Chris, you should’ve won some award for the biggest idiot on Earth._  He was pacing back and forth in his house feeling antsy. He thought of calling her but realized it was stupid.  _No, she said we’re friends. It’s over. Oh boy, I’m so pathetic._  He went to his bedroom and took his old photo album. Everyone always laughed at him when he was printing the photos and putting them into the album, like old people, but he actually enjoyed having them on paper. He found the first photos of him and Amy, their friends, photos from different parties, championships.  _Everything was easier then._ He sighed and put the album back to the drawer. Next to the album, in the right corner, was the engagament ring he bought for Amy so many years ago and never had a chance to give it to her. He looked at it sadly and closed the drawer. It all belonged to the past. They’re in different places now. And maybe it was supposed to be that way.

* * *

“Powell! Open the door! I know you’re there! Open them or I’ll kick them down!” Damien yelled banging the door with his fist. He’s just arrived at Chris’s house and decided to announce himself by waking up the whole neighborhood. “What the hell? Damien? What on Earth are you doing here?” Chris opened the door, clearly shocked. “Oh, you opened. Good.” Damien smoothed his jacket. “Is Amy okay?” Chris asked concerned. “What? Yes, of course she is. But  _we_ need to talk.” And without any invitation he entered Chris’s house.

* * *

Amy tried to call Damien many times after she found the note.  _Did he leave me? I wouldn’t blame him if he did though._ After Damien didn’t answer for the tenth time, Amy decided it’s time to finally work on her novel.  _Indescribable._ Her first own novel. The only one she wrote all by herself. She was nearly finished with it, only two more chapters to go. She wanted to give the readers some sort of closure, what happened to the characters afterwards. They landed safely in New York and two best friends started dating.  _And then?_ And then, everything fucked up.

* * *

“I still don’t know what you’re doing here. Did Amy send you? What’s going on?” Chris stood in his living room while Damien found a comforable spot on Chris’s couch and sat down. “I came here to talk. Didn’t you hear when I said that?” Damien shook his head. “I did, I’m not sure I know if there’s anything we should talk about.” Chris crossed his arms and sat on a chair, keeping a distance from the intruder. “We need to talk Powell. About Amy. And you. About both of you actually.” Damien sighed. “I’ve checked. You’re not married, not divorced. No kids, stable job, good relations with family and friends–” What the hell? Did you investigate my life?! Does Amy know?” Chris was furious.  _Who was he and what did he want?_ “Calm down Powell, I did what I had to, she wouldn’t tell me anything.” “So? Why all this inquiry?” Chris asked. 

Damien took a deep breath and started, “Look, I don’t know you and Amy never said a word about you until two days ago. But I know Amy and I know you guys have past. So my question is, do you still love her? Do you want to be with her? Is that why you came to New York?” “I-I–” Chris stuttered.  _What was he supposed to say? Yes, I’m love with your girlfriend? Yes, I wish you weren’t dating? What if he was a dangerous psychopath? How do you even talk to a psychopath? What if he burns my house like Beau burned that empty house? What if–_

“No offence Powell, but I didn’t ask you for the date of the Civil War or the year of Hemingway’s Nobel Prize. I simply asked if you love her, is that hard to answer?” Damien looked at Chris, clearly annoyed.  _Yup, that guy is definitely a psychopath._ “I’m not sure what do you want me to say?” Chris said quietly. “The truth, preferably. Listen, I love Amy, okay? And all I want for her is to be happy. Whether with me or not.” Damien felt something painful in his throat but went on, “She told me about your meeting, she told me you came to our apartment. I think I know what you wanted to say. And I know she feels something for you too. She told me that too. She’s confused and I want to make it clear. Do you love her?” Chris looked at Damien in disbelief but nodded. “I do. I never stopped actually. But I didn’t want to come between you two. I care about her happiness too.” Damien stood up and came closer to the book shelf. He needed a moment before speaking so that no one could see the water is his eyes. “I want you to tell her, you know, that you love her. She should know. She deserves to know.” “What about you? What if she wants to be with me, would you accept that?” Chris asked carefully. Damien wiped his eye, “As I said, her happiness is my greatest priority.”

* * *

After five hours of typing furiously the words she finally had both of her chapters finished.  _Finally! And it didn’t even take me that long._ She read the ending to herself several times but she was happy with it. The writing helped to clear her mind. Amy decided to use the old-fashioned method her mom taught her when making decisions— list of pros and cons. Having everything on paper always gave her a sense of clarity. But the moment she wrote one of the two names she knew everything. She didn’t need any list. She knew what was right. What she wanted. And she decided to go for it. To fight for her fairytale. This time  _she_  needed to fight.

* * *

Damien left Chris’s house an hour later. Both men talked a lot about Amy and decided it would be the best if Chris came to New York with Damien. Damien thought a simple call would do the thing but Chris insisted on flying. “You can’t say all of that in a phone call! It needs to be a real conversation, eye to eye.” They were lucky as the flights were frequent and they didn’t have to wait too long. Damien was also relieved when he realized he didn’t have to sit next to Chris. He had nothing against him (except the part where Chris loves  _his_ girlfriend and goes to New York to  _tell_ her that and  _be_ with her) but he would rather sit with his thoughts only. In the meantime Chris was stressed as never. He didn’t know what to say, how to say it. He was scared of her reaction, and he still wasn’t fully aware of what just happened. But he did get it, Damien cared about Amy and he wanted her to be happy. He felt anxious and excited when he heard Amy felt something for him. It was like his wildest dreams came into reality. His precious Amy. He loved her so much. Even though he didn’t really like Damien, he was grateful for him to tell Chris everything. Now he saw a real chance. No more running away. Never.

* * *

Amy was just making a fifth cup of coffee when she heard Damien coming to their apartment. She left her mug on the counter and ran to the door standing face to face with her boyfriend. “Where were you? I was worried!” She exclaimed. “I wrote you a note, didn’t you get it?” “I did, and I also did call you many times. I understand why you’re avoiding me but a short message that you’re fine would be–” “I’m not avoiding you” Damien interrupted her. “But there’s someone you need to talk to first.” She took a step back. “But–” “Amy.” He looked at her. “I love you. Remember that. But you need to confront your past and your thoughts. You deserve to be happy.” Her phone buzzed. The text was from Chris. “Can we meet up in that cafe? It’s important.” She looked at Damien. He was already pouring some whiskey. She was torn. She wanted to talk to Damien but also needed to talk with Chris.  _Ugh why my life likes to be that complicated._ “Listen, I’ll be back soon, so please wait for me okay?” Amy asked Damien while putting on her shoes. “Sure.” When she left the apartment, a single tear rolled down his cheek.

* * *

“Wait, wait, Damien came there, to Maine for you?!” “Well, yes, but Amy, that’s not what I wanted to talk to you about. Please listen to me. It’s important.” He pleaded. Amy sat down, still shocked and turned her face towards him. “Amy…yesterday, when I came into your apartment I didn’t come to wish you happy birthday. I wanted to say how much I still love you. And how much I wish I told you that sooner.” She inhaled sharply.  _Is she dreaming? Is he saying that for real?_ She was lost in thought when Chris was talking about his graduation plans, when he mentioned the proposal she had tears in her eyes. She listened to him and the more she heard the more she knew. When he was finishing his speech she smiled through her tears. She wanted to laugh, to cry, everything at once. It was a weird feeling, but a good one. Relief washed over her face when he spoke, “So Amy, do I have a chance? Do you, maybe, feel something to me too?” Tears springing in her eyes.  _This is it, that moment. It’s now.  
_

* * *

It was already after 11 when Damien heard someone coming into the apartment. He stood up and saw Amy taking off her shoes. Her make-up was all over her face but she had a big smile on it. She found his eyes already staring at hers and she smiled warmly at him. “You look like a panda.” He broke the silence. Amy frowned and bursted into laughter. “Oh my gosh Damien!” “I actually didn’t really expect you here. Do you need a hand in packing?” he asked. Amy came a little bit closer to him. “Damien…” she started, “you have every right to hate me but I need to–” “ I don’t hate you.” he broke in. “But I need to,” she continued, “tell you that–” “Amy. I get it. Really, I’m fine. You will be happy with Chris and I’m happy for you. I really am.” “Damien! Can I say something finally?” “I don’t think you have to say any–” “I WANT TO BE WITH YOU DAMIEN ANNOYING ASS NAZARIO. STOP INTERRUPTING ME AND PLEASE LET ME TALK OR I’LL GAG YOU” she yelled.  _Wait, what?_ He turned back to her, “What?” “Oh so now you listen. From now on I’ll just yell if I want something.” She chuckled. He grabbed her wrist and looked her in the eyes. “What did you say?” She rolled her eyes. “I said: I want to be with you. Of course, if you’ll still have me. I know that after everything I did and said I might not deserve you anymore but I do love you and I want to be with you. To give you my 100%. Cause I know you’re the one I want. It’s always been you.” Damien blinked a couple of times. “But what about–” She shook her head. “I realized it was you long before he came here. I think I actually knew it from the start. But this whole situation only proved my point.” She looked him in the eyes. “I told Chris that he will always have a special place in my heart but…you are the one I want to spend my life with. If you still want to” she added quietly.

“ _Chris I don’t know what to say. I was confused when I saw you again after all these years. And you’ll always have a place in my heart, you were my first true love. But I realized it’s Damien I want. It’s always been him. I’m sorry if I ever puzzled you. It was never my intention. I want you to be happy but I’m sorry to say it won’t be with me. You’re an amazing person, I’m sure you’ll find someone who will love you with all they have.” Chris thought for a moment. “I undestand. Damien’s a good guy, he deserves you.” “Chris…” “I’m good! Well, not really. Not yet. But I will be. You’re happy and that’s all that matters. Maybe it’s time for me to move on too.”_

She closed her eyes waiting for him to reply. If he says no, she’ll understand. When after a minute he still didn’t answer she opened her eyes and looked at him. For the first time since they met she saw real tears in his eyes. “Are you sure?” he rasped. She let out a relieved breath. “Of course I am. I was never more sure about anything.” Before he could open his mouth she added “I’m so sorry. For the mess I’ve made. I thought I was confused, I thought I had only questions but I couldn’t see I had the answer right in front of me.” He didn’t say anything. Damien instantly swept her up in his arms and pulled her in the most passionate kiss they’ve ever shared. His tears mixed with hers, her black mascara staining his cheeks. When they pulled away breathless, he leaned his forehead on hers. “So, are you forgiving me?” she asked. He chuckled. “I thought it was obvious. I might prove it to you in another way” Damien said kissing her jawline and carrying her to their bedroom.

“ _Maybe we could talk from time to time? You know, so that we actually communicate instead of waiting another eight years to talk.” Chris asked. “You got it.” She smiled. They hugged each other and stayed there, in this very position, again a little too long than necessary. Even though they let each other go in friendly relations, the feeling was rather bittersweet. The smell of Chris’s cologne now belonged to past. And this time she was ready to move on._

And when she lay down, in Damien’s strong arms,  trying to regain her breath, she was the happiest she’s even been. Her past belonged to Chris. Her present was uncertain until she came into the realization that she already felt deep down in her heart. And she also knew, her future belonged to Damien, to both of them, together. There was no more confusion, no more uncertainty. Just her, Damien, and the future ahead of them.


End file.
